on love life

heratyck ütleb:
Why dont you like local boys
Impress ütleb:
boring
Impress ütleb:
bad sex
Impress ütleb:
no temperament
heratyck ütleb:
How do you know? Have you slept with the whole town?
Impress ütleb:
no, but my friend did

on porn

elle ütleb:
hola chica....
Impress ütleb:
oh
Impress ütleb:
thank god
Impress ütleb:
i thought it was your son again
Impress ütleb:
i think he thinks i am stalking you
Impress ütleb:
i call it love, by the way
elle ütleb:
you should have im'd him and said "ooh I see what you did there"
elle ütleb:
lil shit was using my computer to look up porn the other night... after I told him not to
Impress ütleb:
bahahahahah
Impress ütleb:
what kind of porn is he into
elle ütleb:
I dont know what kind
Impress ütleb:
i'll ask him next time
Impress ütleb:
there was a scandal last week
Impress ütleb:
someone been abusing male teenagers
elle ütleb:
doh
Impress ütleb:
presenting self as a spanish chick and asking boys to wank off with a videocam
Impress ütleb:
then telling them that everything is recorded
Impress ütleb:
why didn't *i*think of that?
Impress ütleb:
?!!!!!

how to kill a conversation, even if you are talking to God

Me:
oy
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
blood red
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
i am pretty unusual myself

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

insomniac wit

i am beating the odds. but they are resilient bitches.

argh

efficient futility ütleb:
tead v, ma kogu aeg tahaks sulle peksa anda
Jahre Viking ütleb:
miks???
Jahre Viking ütleb:
kutsu pikad sõbrad appi!
efficient futility ütleb:
urr, silitad vastukarva
efficient futility ütleb:
efficient futility ütleb:
kutsungi, tead!
Jahre Viking ütleb:
kelle?
Jahre Viking ütleb:
kristjani??

he said

E: you know how chicks always complain about small penises? well it's not the penis that is the problem, it's the vagina! it's like throwing sausages down the hallway!

those were the days, my friend

- hey do you remember times back when the MSN emoticons were static?

yeah

if there is anything i can do for you, ANYTHING... i'm not doing it.

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

A: I wanna be a lady when I grow up
W: I wanna do a lady when I grow up

iPlay

joyful killjoy

decently indecent

reasonably unreasonable

good old - drastic sarcastic

efficient futility

more words i like

taciturn

austere

caustic

birthday greetings

i have sent to people recently:


1.
Hey Old Lady!
I'll bring flowers, I promise!



2.
And just like that, another year passed and it means that soon you are going to die. Cheers, mate!

3.
My dear friend with a fragile soul! I hope that you get tougher as you get older (so I can smack you down harder).

4.
Staska, old pal! I'd say happy birthday in Lithuanian and toast with vanilla vodka and apple juice (if you haven't changed your preferences over the years!), but first off drinking is BAD for young mothers, and none of the words I remember in Lithu can stand daylight. But I'll have a drink for you anyway.


I need to come up with more ideas for the whole year. Hm.

after x-ray

i'm full of shit. it's a medical fact.

words

horripilation

scarcity

are they

-drunk, or retarded?
-probably both!

,,,

- are you pro-gay?
- hey, i'm no amateur gay either!